NYC

I’ve been back in the cities for 24 hours…it’s about time I posted a few pictures from my latest adventure. I know a few of them are from places where photography is banned, oops!



1 – Time Square - take two
2 – Tina’s hairpiece
3 – Ceiling at the Metropolitan Opera
4 – Tina’s pop-over
5 – Grandma’s smile
6 – Street outside Macy’s where the parade action happens at Thanksgiving
7 – Painting by Pablo Picaso
8 – Star above an intersection - I think it's supposed to be famous
9 – Bergdorf’s window
10 – Grandma and Tina at a place I can’t recall
11 – Rockefeller Center
12 – Grandma and Tina in front of THE tree
13 – A headless singer at Don’t Tell Mama’s
14 – Inside the W
15 – Light show across from Rockefeller Center
16 – Time Square take three



1 – Time Square
2 – Sign for the W (it’s an awesome she-she hotel)
3 – George singing Sweet Transvestite at Don’t Tell Mamas, before this photo he served us drinks in nothing but a apron
4 – Tina eating pizza at 4a (the bars had just closed, yes, bars close at 4a in NYC)
5 & 6 Inside the Metropolitan Opera (Grandma and I saw Tina jump on the lead’s back during a fight, the whole audience laughed at her)
7 – Grandma and I at Macy’s
8 – Tina and Grandma in front of Macy’s
9 & 10 Stuff inside the Metropolitan Museum of Art
11 – Me posing for Playboy
12 – All I want for Christmas
13 – Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree!
14 – Grandma and Tina at Café Lalo (Meg Ryan met Tom Hanks there in You’ve Got Mail)
15 – Grandma and Tina laughing as a friend of Tina’s sang Blue Suede Shoes for Grandma at Don’t Tell Mamas
16 – Store window at Bergdorf’s

Warm clothes...

“Pack lots of warm clothing because when you walk a few blocks it feels really cold, and we’ll be doing a lot of walking since taxis will be hard to get with the possible transit strike.” Tina left this message on my voice mail this evening. In 48 hours, I will be landing at LaGuardia in NYC. According to the New York Times, in 30 hours over 33,000 transit workers might be striking.

It’s illegal for the transportation union to strike, but they’re threatening a 12:01 am walk-out Friday morning. This could make our trip to NYC an interesting one. The last time I visited Tina I left the day the strike was set to start. She arranged for a car to take me to the airport from her apartment, but the strike never happened. I wonder if this year is my lucky year. Here’s to hoping transit workers are working this weekend!

A-Ron Strikes Back

Yesterday Aaron began another blog. Somehow I think he has the giddyup to really get into it this time. Below is his first post. Check out his progress and send a note of encouragement. Visit him at A-Ron Strikes Back.
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This is Aaron Matson, Northern State University Alum, 2002 candidate for SD State Legislature, former intern for Senator Tim Johnson and the South Dakota Democratic Party, and former liberal columnist for NSU's student paper. Currently, I am a second year student at Luther Seminary in Saint Paul, Minnesota, on my way to becoming an ordained minister of Word and Sacrament in the ELCA. I have seen the damage done by fundagelical Christians in politics around the country, and especially in my beloved home state of South Dakota. This blog will be dedicated to countering the fundagelical movement, what has been called a theology of glory, and promoting a theology of the cross in social, political, and religious setting. One of my basic arguments is that the liberal boogey-man that conservative leaders are alway running against, and claiming to be reacting against, simply is a phantom menace. These reactionary leaders distract with wedge issues to gain power and to blind us of the true role of faith in politics: as an agent of justice and grace. I look forward to entering the discussion on this great website and blogoshpere.

Shalom,
Aaron

West Virginia: Sounds of Down Home

Tonight I listened to an NPR story, West Virginia Floods Offer Lessons for Katrina Victims. While listening to the voices from southern WV, I heard my family. I realized that southern accents are different. Each woman I heard sounded like my aunts, grandma or great-grandma.

The stories of homes lost to the floods a few years ago were those of my family. I heard talk of condemned houses and thought about Uncle Charlie who lost everything and of my aunts who had considerable damage though their homes were salvageable.

This past August Aaron and I visited my grandpa at his trailer up Johnson Branch. When we entered his place, we entered a home that was distinctly grandpas (notice the photo in the lower left corner). One of many topics covered was a recent stabbing in the nearest town. Grandpa said that he wouldn'’t go to get his black lung check cashed there because someone was stabbed during the day. The problem is that's the only place to get a check cashed for roughly 50 miles. He has made choices that fit him, a retired West Virginia coalminer. He was born in a holler and will always live in a holler. He knows who he is and what he wants and no one can convince him otherwise.
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All photos were taken during August 2005.

Death All Around

In a speech given in Philadelphia today, Bush said an estimated 30,000 Iraqis have been killed since the beginning of the war. After hearing this number, I began contextualizing this.

Killed in Iraq since March 2003...
2146 U.S. Soldiers (according to the DoD)
30,000 Iraqis (according to Bush'’s estimate)

This means that .11% of the Iraqi population has been killed over the past 2 and a half years. Proportionally, if .11% of the US population were to be killed 340, 251 would be dead. What would our response be then? Would we wake up from our mindlessness that allows this to continue? How many more must die in Iraq?

Of the 2146 US soldiers killed, I knew one, Eric Bernholtz. Eric and I went to school together for 2 and a half years. Over 12,000 mourners celebrated his life at his funeral. It's amazing how inner-connected we are. Eric touched thousands of lives. He, like so many others, was killed in Iraq in a war that cannot be won. When will this stop?

Also today, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger denied clemency Stanley Tookie Williams. Whether Williams is guilty or not, capital punishment is barbaric. What leads to the thinking that violence can ever be answered with violence to bring peace and justice?

I pray for the day when war and capital punishment will seem as senseless as slavery and genocide.

Sermon: Mark 1:1-8

Today I preach for my Telling the Story course. Below is my manuscript. Let me know where I've messed up before 1pm EST! Thanks.
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We live in a time and culture infatuated with baptism imagery. Our films are filled with examples of this. In the Matrix, Neo chooses to be reborn into the true reality and is brought into the new community of others who share this reality. City of Angels ends with Nicholas Cage’s character in water that symbolizes baptism. In the latest film version of Titanic, Rose spends the night in water and is reborn as a new person the next day. In Toy Story, Woody is marked with the name of a boy on the bottom of his boot. This is his claim of belonging. In Shawshank Redemption, Andy Dufresne crawls through the sewer system to freedom and emerges anew.

These characters are changed after their experiences. Forces outside of themselves acted on them creating a change. Our experience in baptism is similar. We are marked as a child of God, given promises and have calls placed on our lives. Our baptism is not simply the day that we went to the font. After baptism, the real work begins. We are called to daily remembrance of that which was begun at our baptism. We are called to remember Christ came and still comes to us.

Today, our text is calling us to prepare the way for the coming of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Images from John the Baptist fill our reading. Today we hear of a man in the wilderness crying out.

To get this scene please create a film in your mind’s eye. You’re in Judea about 2000 years ago walking on hot, dirty, dusty road with filthy leather sandals on your feet. You and your family make a walking trip to the Jordan River to see a man wearing camel’s hair, a leather belt and who is rumored to eat locusts and wild honey to sustain him. When you arrive, crowds surround you and you head to the water to this man who rants about another man coming. He is calling out “Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.” He talks of a baptism of repentance a baptism of literally turning around. Furthermore, he tells of a man who is going to baptize you not only with water, but with something called the Holy Spirit.

Today we know about the baptism of Jesus. This raised questions about the different baptism offered by John. John baptizes with what he has, water and the word. According to Acts 19, he baptizes in the name of Jesus, Jesus, the one who is coming.

John proclaims that Jesus will baptize with the Holy Spirit. This is all well and good for those listening and being baptized by John, but what about us. We’ve been baptized with water and the word. We know about Jesus.

We are left asking the favorite question of teens everywhere. So what?
What is this advent thing all about? Most say that advent is about preparation. The problem comes when we think about preparation as being for Jesus who has already come. We are not called upon to act as though we’re preparing in the same way John’s crowd was. Christ has come. But a preparation of sorts is necessary. This is not the preparation where we get our children’s Christmas pageant and go caroling at the local nursing home. That’s a different kind of preparation with a different motivation.

John is proclaiming that one who is greater than he is coming. That one, Jesus comes to us today. He has come through the incarnation. He will come through the second coming. And He comes right now into our hearts. John says prepare the way of the Lord. We get prepared through a change in our heart.

This change is not something that we can do. We can’t. We can’t prepare the way of Christ. Preparation of the heart is the work of God. This is accomplished through hearing the proclamation of the Gospel. This makes the path straight in our heart. It is Christ coming to us as the word of God.

With all this preaching and baptizing John would have made the perfect Lutheran pastor. His ministry was one of word and sacrament. John proclaimed the word of God and baptized. He baptized with water and the word just as we do now and have for thousands of years.

Baptism is baptism because of the water and word of God that comes down. In fact, it isn’t water by itself that does such wonderful things, but the word of God with water. Without the word of God, water is used only to clean the literal dirt off. The kind of dirt that gets on your leather sandals and feet when you walk on hot, dirty, dusty roads.

In this sense, baptism is a good metaphor for the traditional Lutheran view of advent because advent is all about God coming to us in Christ. John got this. John preached this. His preaching was telling of the one who is coming.

When John was preaching the coming of Christ there were many other prophets proclaiming the coming of various messiahs. John was different. He wasn’t one of the false prophets. He was the one who got it right. He proclaimed Christ and Christ came.

Despite his clothing of camel’s hair and leather belt - despite his diet of locust and wild honey - John spoke the Gospel. He was the one God chose to declare the coming Christ. Christ came through the incarnation. Christ will come through the second coming. And Christ comes right now into our hearts. Christ comes now! Amen.

Newlywed Holidays

This morning when I turned on my computer my instant messenger popped up with it’s info page. On the info page was an MSN lifestyle article “Whose Home for the Holidays?” which I clicked on out of curiosity. From my pre-Aaron days, I know how messy just my family can be and now we’re a family and still very connected to our families of origin. This is good, but stressful. According to the article, “It begins the moment you're married and it never stops -- even after you're dead. It's the competition over whose family gets more time with you, as a married couple. And, believe me, it's a competition that nobody really wins, which is amazing when you consider how much time and energy is spent keeping score.” This scares me! I write this knowing that both families will read this, so I know it’s inevitable, but STOP! We will see one family more than the other and we have more than enough love for both of you and if you feel like your being cheated then come visit us – you’re ALWAYS welcome.

I write this already feeling defensive. In two weeks, I’ll be in NYC with Grandma and Tina. While I’m super excited about this I feel like I’m cheating the Matson’s. We could go to SD earlier if I wasn’t going away. Luckily, Audra and Jake are coming to visit just after I get back so it’s not a total Matson loss, but why am I keeping score already? I really like SD although I will definitely miss my family this Christmas. Earlier this week while talking with my mom, she ask what my favorite part of Christmas week was. When I answered, we were both almost in tears. I hate the reality that one of us has to be away each holiday and I’m counting the years until we can’t travel (being pastors makes you responsible for parishes on holidays) and having to say, "if you want to see us we’re hosting a huge holiday party, bring your air mattresses and c’mon!" Until then, and as long as we both shall live, I want score keeping to go away. Each family will have things that we feel we just NEED to be at and one family will be cheated. Each family needs to know that there is love and longing to be with you, always.

Da' Bro

This morning I woke up to an email from Todd, my old brother, with the subject line “shit..............I guess I have to get a real job again”. Background on Todd – Degree: Master of Fine Arts, job for the past few years: selling vinyl and stickers with his graphic designs on eBay and doing graphic design for a friend’s company from his house.

Note: Bryon is our cousin.

Here’s what he wrote…

SUBJECT: shit..............I guess I have to get a real job again

...hehhe, guess I have to buy an alarm clock too dammit!!!

Bryon called me today, " Hey, Todd do you want a job?”

We talked on turkey day and I had mentioned business had been slow...yadda, and I had considered getting a "real job" again.

Anyhow, I go in on Friday and do the paperwork as far as I know & go to Michigan for a week to learn new software the week of the 12th.

Damn, funny how things just fall in your lap sometimes ;)

Love ya,

Da' Bro
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Things like this just make me laugh. It’s not about who you know; it’s about who your cousins are and what kinda companies they own:)

Change in Ohio

After a hellacious week in the cities, Aaron and I found our way to Ohio. It’s good to be back, although it seems like change hit hard while we were away this time. I’m supposed to say, ‘change is good.’ But right now I wanna scream, “stop, go back to your places, let’s take this from the end of August.” Chad is extra mature and recovering from his tonsil extraction, the sanctuary where my family and I worshiped for 20 years has been turned into a fellowship hall, Amber has a beautiful new house and a dog and Saturday we met my parents for a drink to celebrate Jack’s 5* birthday at our favorite Grove City pub that has finally ban smoking. Today Aaron and I are headed to the Easton Imax to see Harry Potter with Laurie and Chad, not only has the rating increased to PG-13 (yeah, Chad just turned 13! – no wait, my little brother is a teenager) but we get to see it in one of two Imax theaters in Columbus. AHH, stop the insanity! At least Thanksgiving promises to be filled with tradition and Katelynn is as hyper and Aaron-crazy as ever.

Kingo

Thanks to Thee, O Christ victorious!
Thanks to Thee, O Lord of life!
Death hath now no power o'er us,
Thou hast conquered in the strife;
Thanks because Thou didst arise,
And hast opened Paradise!
None can fully sing the glory
Of the resurrection story.

For my heart finds consolation,
And my fainting soul grows brave,
When I stand in contemplation
At Thy dark and dismal grace;
When I see where Thou didst sleep
In death’s dungeon dark and deep,
Yet didst break all bands asunder,
Must I not rejoice and wonder?

Satan’s arrows all lie broken,
Death and hell have met their doom;
Christ, Thy rising is the token:
Thou hast triumphed o’er the tomb:
Thou hast buried all my woe,
And my cup doth overflow;
By Thy resurrection glorious
I shall wave my palm victorious.

Rev. Thomas Kingo, 1689.
The first great Danish hymn writer.

Tire Shopping, My Family's Way

This is a public service announcement and '‘how to'’ of sorts. I have been giving tire buying advice, and would like to share the knowledge. Note: this will only work in a large metropolitan area.

1. Go out to your car and get the tire info off your tires
2. Spend up to 20 minutes calling all possible shops within a 15 miles radius to check prices
a. This step is ONLY for price checking
b. Generally, you want to avoid dealerships, they'’ll just rip you off
c. Mom and pop places are full of great deals, most of the time
d. If you have AAA call for a list of places they recommend
e. You can save up to $50 here, when was the last time you made $50 in 20 minutes (if you ever have, other than tire shopping, I don'’t want to know about it!)
3. Call back the place with the best value for what you want
4. Schedule an appointment and add 45 minutes to the time estimate (this has saved many headaches)
5. Enjoy your new tires: drive on rain, snow and sleet while being in full control (most of the time)

This public service announcementment was brought to you by...Chris, Jack and Jack

November Woes

What seemed like a blessing at 5:15 this afternoon turned into a night full of woes. My Hymnody professor has laryngitis and class got cancelled. This meant that Lori and I were able to have another girls night (Aaron’s in class). The following is a list of trials and tribulations we were cursed with this evening.

• Water chestnuts in Lori’s Chinese dinner
• Paying $10 to park in a garage after driving past an empty meter
• Going to Speedy Mart to get buttermilk and having to buy a quart instead of a ½ pint to make banana bread
• Failed 007: Trying to find Professor Mary Jane Haemig’s apartment (just for the hell of it) and realizing we passed the right street 4 times tonight after returning to our apartment
  
• Trying to get free wireless internet outside Burger King for 20 minutes to no avail (to check mapquest.com)– hey Big Brother (aka U.S. government), how about some nationwide free wi-fi
• Not being able to defrost the 6 black frost bitten bananas for the banana bread
• Opening Lori’s DVD case to realize her copy of Fargo is in Montana, Uffdah!

All Peoples

This past weekend Aaron, Melodi and I went to Milwaukee to wish Pastor Greg Van Dunk, founder and pastor until yesterday of All Peoples Church, farewell and Godspeed as he accepted a call to Atonement Lutheran Church. Melodi and I each spent a year working with Greg at All Peoples following college graduation. The weekend was filled with many memories and people we love dearly.

Worship at All Peoples is an experience like no other. The church is filled with people who are open in many various ways. The often silent realities of life are freely shared among the community. Aaron and I sat in Sunday School with, among others, two bi-racial committed homosexual couples and discussed the non-traditional view of God from 1 Samuel. During worship, gospel hungry sojourners surrounded us. In front of us was a woman who took in a family of five when their mother became addicted to drugs. Beside us was a young adult who lost her mother at a young age and is an abuse survivor caring for her 6 month old nephew. On our other side was a junior high student that lived in a homeless shelter when I met her and during the past week lost her home and everything in it to a devastating fire. Behind us were two elderly ladies who have been lived the neighborhood for over 50 years, are committed to the community, and are pillars of faith for All Peoples. Yesterday, the burdens of life were laid down as we celebrated the ministry of Greg and his family for the past 15 years.

On our way to the cities, Aaron and I began processing our weekend. I was glad to be able to share the experience of All Peoples with him. The experience from yesterday forward will be different than what anyone has known. This is good, and this is bad. There is never a good time to leave, someone is always in the middle of a crisis and someone else beginning the journey. All Peoples begins a new chapter today. I pray that it will continue to be real and relevant to all who walk through its doors.

The Notebook

During the film, many couples came vividly to my mind. For each, I shed tears. I weep for Aaron and I, and the wonderful love we share and the uncertainty of our tomorrows. I cry for Tyler and Amber who will take vows and make public their intent to live as husband and wife this weekend. I sob for Dan’s wife, who grieves the lose of her husband. I grieve for my grandma Wernicke who continues to live without Grandpa.

On Wednesday, Grandpa will have been gone for 4 years. He died of complications stemming from Alzheimer’s disease. Grandma keeps his photo near her and kisses ‘him’ at least once every morning and every night. During our last visit home, Grandma asked Aaron and I if she would know Grandpa when she got to heaven. When we left her, I wanted to hold Aaron and never let go. Watching the progression of Grandpa’s disease and the love that he and Grandma shared (63 years married, 72 years love) was a powerful witness to the bonds two people can share. In my experience, my grandparents shared the longest, strongest love I’ve ever seen. Even during Grandpas final days when he forgot his only living son, he knew Grandma was his wife. He also knew who was family and who was staff. During his final week, if a family member walked in the room and grab his hand he’d pucker up for a kiss. Other than the kiss, he was unconscious. I will never forget the long hours holding his hand during his last week of life. I could sit by his bed and hold his hand with my left hand as I studied for midterms with my right. If I were away from him, I couldn’t focus, but if I were with him, I knew how he was and could study all night. Love and family, what a curious and blessed combination.

Thoughts

According to current U.S. law, it is okay to kill criminals, unborn children, domestic animals, terrorists and enemy combatants. Euthanasia, on the other hand, is not okay. What do our laws say about the way our society regards life? How is it merciful to kill a dog that is old and suffering, while we wait for humans to die on their own? The closest we get to ‘put down’ a human is not providing ‘heroic’ life sustaining measures.

For Aaron and I, the past few days have been filled with death talk. One of the latest conversations was regarding the means of Dan’s death. For Aaron, it’s hard to loose another cousin to an ‘accident.’ How is it easier to think of a death at the hands of another human easier than an accident? Isn’t death the sadness that we feel? How does sadness differ according to the means of death? If someone killed him, we could be angry with someone instead of feeling anger without a direction. Many in this case direct anger toward God, the eternal scapegoat.

I also wonder, why is death different for an 82 year-old from a 22 year old? Both lives were of equal value. What makes us think that we should be able to live to an old age? We are born with the certainty that death will be our earthly end. I am okay with death being an earthly end. I am okay with all questions that are asked and will be asked during the grieving process. I am okay with the realization that the grieving process will continue throughout our lifetime. While grieving Dan’s death part of our grief is ultimately connected to our own death. Life as we know it is often painful, but the life we know is all that we have experienced. Thoughts of our own death scare us. What awaits us? As a sinner and a saint, I have been offered the consolation of the Gospel. In my darkest hours, it may not seem to make one bit of difference in my self-centered pain, but even in those hours God can and has broken in with the Son. In all the questions, long hours and sorrow I know that God has claimed me as His own. I know what God has promised me.

Sheol - The Sleepless Night after a Loved One Dies

Dan Bartels, 22, Aaron’s 1st cousin, killed in Iraq. What is it about relationships that make the news come alive? A little over a year ago, I stood at a candle lit vigil with a hundred others in front of our local library to remember the 1,000 U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq. The mood was solemn, but afterwards I made my way back to the dorms, did a little homework, and went about my normal routine. Yesterday, the death of one soldier rocked my world. Maybe it was the phone calls from Aaron’s parents or maybe it was holding my sobbing husband, who so clung desperately to me. What about this one made the impact? Thousands have died on both sides of this war. Before we began dinner, we prayed for grieving families on both sides. Death is different after a little theological education. It still stings. It still comes with questions. The questions this time are different. We aren’t asking, why did God do this or what did we or he do to deserve this? Instead, Aaron asks, “Am I the first one on campus to loose someone to the war?” Whether or not, this is my time to speak up. We know and trust what God has done and promised. We know that Dan, the people in Iraq and all of us are created in the Image of God. I ask for prayers for Dan’s family, for everyone affected by war and for peace.

Colombia and Senator Coleman

Photo - Displaced Colombians at Pastor Pedro's church, Cristo El Ray (Christ the King)

Yesterday and today are “Reading Days” and classes are cancelled. This morning a group went to meet with the new foreign affairs staffer in Senator Norm Coleman’s St. Paul office. An indigenous Colombian and two Afro-Colombians made the visit with three students, a pastor and two Lutheran World Relief representatives. Coleman has done an excellent job on Colombian policy work in the past and was already working finding a disappeared peace advocate who was slated to come to the US this weekend for a peace conference in Chicago. The powerful portion of our meeting came when the staffer began reading a list of statistics that ‘showed’ the President Alvaro’s administration was responsible for decreasing killings, displacements and disappearances in the country. The Colombians with us quickly stated that once you’ve killed/disappeared most of your opponents there’s no one left to kill/disappear and once you’ve displaced all the peasant farmers there’s no one left to displace. The situation is so complicated with many armed actors. Stateside there is a group working on the Sal y Luz (Salt and Light) peace project. There isn’t a group to back in this conflict. The project is designed to wage peace. Pedro, Pastor connected with the Luther Seminary Sal y Luz project, described a situation in which the government is financially compensating ‘disarmed paramilitaries’ when they ‘opt out’ of their fighting groups. One is living across the street of a widow with 12 children whose husband was killed by a paramilitary group – she receives no help. The other problems with this include Colombians who were never armed actors signing up for the ‘opt out’ program and others who reenlist with different groups while still collecting the benefits from the ‘opt out.’ No easy answers can be found to this and many conflicts. I am grateful for the opportunity to speak truth to power and to have a senator who is actively searching for answers in the bureaucratic nightmare of the US Senate.

Can I Stand?

How hard it is to live in the richest nation in the world and realize it. What does it mean to be a citizen of the world and a citizen of the US? What is asked of me? What responsibilities are there for being an educated white female? This past week, I’ve heard three different sermons preached on Matthew 22:15-22. My favorite preacher, Dr. Mary Shore, preached one. In her sermon, she challenged but also preached the Gospel. Today in chapel a Canadian preacher used Luke 17:11-19. Again, the lesson had financial implications. As a student, I have less financial resources than others do, but my husband and I still have an apartment and resources to live very comfortable lifestyle even on US standards. In comparison to the citizens of the world, we are incredibly rich financially. What do we do? Where are we being called? What is being asked of us? How can we be responsible to the privilege and opportunity to study instead of working fulltime while still being good stewards? How can small luxuries (i.e. road trips, eating out, going to the see latest films) be justified? Do they need to be justified? How can I stand at the foot of the cross with the baggage I carry? How can I stand?

Sarah Henrich Speaks Greek and Eats at the Olive Garden

This evening Aaron and I decided dine at the Olive Garden for our third meal of the day. With the warm fall weather we sat outside while waiting for a table. We were deep in conversation when I laughed and said, that woman really resembles Dr. Henrich, the professor we learned Greek from last year. And look, she even runs like Henrich. Henrich runs from place to place usually with a cup of coffee in her hand that she spills every 5 seconds. Well, our flashing buzzing beeper went off telling us that our table was ready. As we approached the host station lo and behold, there was Henrich. Yes, we realize that professors do have lives and can eat out occasionally, but she has an ongoing project in Italy. It’s awesome that she’s running into an Italian chain restaurant for her Italian.

Fifth Row Center and Payless Shoes

My grandma and I have tickets (5th row!) for the last performance of Carmen at the Metropolitan Opera (1 of the top 3 opera houses in the world). If that isn’t cool enough, my aunt is in the performance! Yeah, Grandma could be buying both of our plane tickets for the amount she is spending to get us into the performance, but this is a lifelong dream for Tina. She always said she’d ‘make it’ and Grandma always said she’d go see her when she did. I get to tag along since this is my first Christmas away from home, so being with Tina and Grandma the weekend before will make it much easier. Plus, NYC at Christmas is just plain amazing. When I went to visit Tina at Christmas a few years ago we had a blast going shopping and looking at the store windows. The entire city is festive and alive. It seems crazy to be excited over Christmas when this is the beginning of October, but this is freakin’ awesome!

When Grandma called yesterday to tell me we have tickets she said, “3 nights in a Manhattan hotel and your Carmen ticket, Merry Christmas!” So, that leaves me to find a plane ticket and the proper attire. It just so happens I bought a dress for two upcoming weddings that will work well for this event, but I don’t have shoes. The only ones I can afford now are at Payless. I wonder, has anyone has ever sat in the fifth row of the Metropolitan Opera in Payless shoes.

Floods, Hurricanes, Earthquakes, Volcanic Eruptions and the Poor

On September 22, the initial flooding reports came to my inbox regarding flooding in San Salvador the capital of El Salvador. A friend's blog informed me that three people were killed and 490 were in shelters. The country continues to feel natural disasters such as another hurricane, an earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale and a volcanic eruption with continued threats. Currently 70,000 people or 1% of the population is in shelters throughout the country, which is slightly smaller than Massachusetts. El Salvador is no stranger to earthquakes. Monday was the 19th anniversary of the 1986 earthquake which left more than one thousand Salvadorans dead and ten thousand wounded.

How can a people cope? Does hope remain? My heart breaks for the Salvadorans. According to the CIA World Factbook, El Salvador has many natural hazards. It is known as the Land of Volcanoes; frequent and sometimes very destructive earthquakes and volcanic activity; extremely susceptible to hurricanes. These ‘hazards’ are part of the fabric of the Salvadoran life. Disasters are a part of life. There is always something to clean up after or something to worry about. This is a consistent, continual life and death struggle.

El Salvador is another instance of the poor being pushed onto land that is dangerous and prone to natural disasters. Over the past months I have began to see the unfair land distribution that continues to marginalize peoples. In history text books, I’ve read about Europeans displacing Native Americans, but I never connected the land issue to today.

Time to go

After a crazy beginning to the middler year it’s time to get off campus! This weekend Aaron, Lori and I are headed to Nebraska to see the Huskers take on Texas Tech. and meet lotsa Lori’s friends and family. This week has been a crazy sprint to get all our homework finished in time to leave at 2pm tomorrow. Usually our Friday nights are spent working on an online class, but not this one! Be sure to check out the pic page after 10.10 to see the wildness that was our weekend.

From the depths of the pit

Families can be amazing structures of support and comfort. Families can also be the places of extreme pain and sorrow. Seminary courses can be filled with discovery and insight.

Yesterday, the worst of my family pain met the discovery and insight of class. How can I look at my sorrow through a theological lense? I can't. Right now I can't look at this pain. If I have not worked through this pain I cannot assist others who are in similar situations. Where do I begin the work? Can I even begin the work?

I am tired - classes are stressful. I am tired - my father is a using alcoholic. I am tired - I cannot even speak of the secret that grips me now.

I called on your name, O LORD,
from the depths of the pit;
you heard my plea, "Do not close your ear
to my cry for help, but give me relief!"
You came near when I called on you;
you said, "Do not fear!"
You have taken up my cause, O LORD,
you have redeemed my life.

Lamentations 3:55-58

Failure

Lately, I have fallen deaf to the cries of the poor. I find myself easily wrapped in a world consisting of Luther, work, friends, family and Aaron. While these people and things are important I do not want them to be the only important things in life. This morning I listened listened to a MD who gave up a comfortable suburban practice to walk with the poor in D.C. and later I watched a slide show from a U.S. delegation to Colombia. While hearing about the MD I thought of my experience living in the city in solidarity with the poor and how rich (in non-monetary ways) I felt doing it. While looking at the Colombia photos I recognized faces of pastors I have met through the Sal y Luz (salt and light) partnership here at Luther. A pastor traveled here while her husband was captured and detained by the Colombian forces who have a record of killing those whom they capture. My question becomes where am I truly involved here and now? Yesterday at a potluck I heard the voice of a Hispanic immigrant who was speaking about two acts that would significantly improve situations for non-documented people in the U.S. and those who wish to come. I realized that I have no clue what ISAIAH, a faith based community-organizing group in the cities and is part of the Gamaliel Foundation that works nationally for policy changes, is up to. I feel I am getting to complacent. I am not speaking up for the least, lost, lowly and left behind. Where am I being called? What can I do?

Fall

“They’ve bottled fall and this is what it tastes like,” said Lori while sipping on Samuel Adams Octoberfest. Oh, Lori.

Marriage Weirdness

Background Information: John and I are co-leaders of a campus group Integrating Non-Violence into Theological Education: Peace and Justice Working Group.

John and I are getting together the beginning of the year email with events and the like for INViTE-PJWG. He asked me to proof the email and one correction/change I had was my name. I still haven’t sent in my Social Security stuff, but I will – soon, so I don’t have to pay. Around Luther I need to have my name changed on a Social Security card before the registrar will make the update. So, for the time being I’m still Christina Wernicke. In my classes when professors read the roster they call Christina Wernicke and I respond, nope, I’m Chris Matson (it has a nice ring to it, not to mention the amazing guy who shares it). It sounds like a whole different person. The whole marriage thing is an amazing transformation and realization. It’s an inquiry and recognition of who am ‘I’ and who are ‘we’. What makes each important and distinct without compromising the other? This is a balance I think will take a lifetime, but that’s okay and even exciting – I don’t have to figure it out tomorrow (unlike Hebrew nouns).

The other weird thing is life with and without bridal jewelry. With it I get adult status, a few years added to my age and a weird, undeserved respect that the title Mrs. brings. Without it I get carded and am treated like a young college student. I’ve only been without it for 24+ hours now, but it’s strange the way I am viewed by society.

Tornados

After a stormy night, I’m at home instead of work. At 7:30 this morning, I received a call from Janet. Through the static on the line she began to tell me that trees are down all around their place and a tree is blocking my parking spot – the one beside her car that was hit by a tree. There were straight-line winds that hit their house with tornados touching down within a few miles. They have no telephone service and no electric. In typical Janet fashion, her cell phone battery is run down and she was on a neighbors cell. As the static got worse she said, “don’t come, can you hear me, don’t come today, unless you hear otherwise don’t come tomorrow!” She stated that they were physically fine, just shaken up. Her husband was out of town; I can’t imagine Janet with terrified Ellen and James without telephone and electric all last night and today. They’ll manage. Compared to the other weather events going on this is extremely minor. That doesn’t take away from what they’re feeling or how I’m worrying about them.

The Luther campus faired pretty well. On my way to class I saw many tree limbs that had fallen as well as a few trees blocking my walk through the alley. I haven't seen or heard of any structural damage yet. Back to the books!

Plans and Soul Food

Yesterday after worship Lori and I decided to attempt to work on assignments while we ate lunch outside at a restaurant that has free wireless access. We found out that one of our favorite places, Old Chicago, meets all requirements. We played on the Internet and chatted through an extended lunch and then went to see March of the Penguins. According to Aaron, I saw the trailer and wanted to see it for the penguins and because Morgan Freeman is the narrator. The film was amazing National Geographic documentary on penguin mating habits. The land itself is beautiful and constantly being reformed with each passing winter. A must-see for a chance to get away from Hollywood Blockbusters and a time to relax and enjoy a part of nature I will probably never see. Nature, that brings me to the plans. While chatting last night Lori and I discovered that seminary students can go to Holden Village free! Holden is a Lutheran camp in the Cascade Mountains. Plans are in the works for a January trip with Lori, Tyler (Lori’s husband to be), Aaron and I. I’ve wanted to go to Holden for some time now, and this seems like the perfect time to go. The only issue is driving through Minnesota, North Dakota, Montana and Washington in the end of January. To say the least, it’ll be an adventure we’ll never forget. Life is so incredible when you have wonderful friends to share it with.

Katrina and the uncomfortable truth

This is a recent e-mail article from Sojouners. The powerful message is one that's been weighing on my mind for a few weeks. Richard Sterns writes the hard truth.

"Perhaps the most disturbing comment I have heard over the past few weeks, as I have been glued to the 24/7 Katrina media coverage, came from a man who lost his home in New Orleans and was living in a shelter. It came in response to the controversial use of the word "refugee" to describe the thousands of people displaced by Hurricane Katrina. He said: "'Refugee?' I'm not some poor African with flies on his face - we are not refugees, we're American citizens!"

There is a profound and uncomfortable truth captured in this man's angry statement. The truth that all men are not created equal; that the 2.8 billion poor who live on less than $2 a day are not valued with equal importance; that their suffering is less important; that their pain can be tolerated; that their lives are somehow less significant; and that they don't have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in the same way the rest of us do.

Hurricane Katrina exposed this uncomfortable double standard to us. It is a double standard that suggests that we don't have a moral responsibility to respond to human suffering if it occurs in a different hemisphere and it is a double standard that showed us that the poor - even in America - are the most vulnerable of our citizens."

James and Ellen

Today is my first day back to work, being a nanny for James and Ellen. This morning I spent 2 hours at the park with James while Ellen was at kindergarten. We spent our hours swinging, climbing, sliding, laughing, reading and relaxing. During our trips we often come across other preschoolers and today was no different. For a half hour I was paid to sit and watch James play with his new friend, Jake. I was free to think about things other than the apartment, Hebrew and online posts for class. I was also able to reflect on the amazing afternoon Aaron and I spent together on Wednesday. In short, I was able to catch a glimpse of life outside of our apartment and Luther. Often I don’t realize how intense situations are until I step back. Work is my step back. Spending a few hours with children brings new perspective. It’s a time to get back to the basics. It’s a time to catch a breath of fresh air and a ray of sunshine. My call committee made one recommendation for me. They want me to focus on self-care. I believe being a nanny is a form of self-care for me. Well, quiet time is over, time to for a snack and a Ms. Frizzle video then it’s back outside to play.

Ethics and 3.2 Beer

Well, I have a ethics post due in 3 hours and 31 minutes. While gearing up for ethics Aaron decided to grab a Leinenkugel's, "A Northwoods favorite brewed in Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin by 73 people who care", then Lori grabbed a Miller High Life and brought me one. As I opened it I realized there was writing on the top. The last few High Life's I've had have been purchased at a gas station. Well, in the lovely state of Minnesota you can only buy 3.2 at gas stations. While at the grocery Monday, I picked up a 12-pack of High Life. Back to the writing on the top. It's only 3.2 beer from the grocery too! Lori and Aaron laughed at me and then began to educate me saying that in Minnesota you HAVE to go to the liquor store to get the real stuff. Who knew? Well, wonderful alcohol laws from other states. In Wisconsin, alcohol is legal in parks. In Nebraska, you can buy alcohol until midnight. In South Dakota, you can buy anything at the grocery stores. In Ohio, sales end at 1am and everything's available until at least 10pm. Ohio awesomeness extends to drive through kegs. Yes, you can drive through, pick up a keg and never get out of you car (provided you have a trunk pop). Well, that's the news from Lake Burntvedt- where all the women are clueless and the men are drinking 3.2 beer.

To Blog or Not to Blog

This week I’ve been ask, ‘why haven’t you blogged yet?’ Below is the reason I haven't blogged. I've been in a funky mood.

Lately I’ve found myself stuck in serious mode and it really sucks. Life consists of going to class, learning the Hebrew alphabet, reading a little for class, opening more boxes, shopping/returning apartment items and hearing news. The latest news…my cousins, former residents of Biloxi, Mississippi, are scattering immediate family due to the devastation of their homes. Mary is in a hotel in Florida with her husband and had to send her daughter to live with her dad in Oklahoma City. Mary’s dad will not return to Biloxi and is living in Oklahoma City while his wife, a nurse, is in temporary housing in Biloxi and wants to rebuild. In other news, Katelynn had to wear a heart monitor for 24-hours because of a valve problem. Jack is recovering slowly. These past few days I have had a few short conversations with Mom but just enough to get the necessary updates. I hate feeling blah! I have an amusing online course. We’re in the getting to know you phase, but it’s giving me many laughs. Back to the books.

Humbled by New Orleans

New Orleans

On CNN’s website the Mayor of New Orleans gets real with a reporter. He talks about the lack of resources given to the city. From reports I’ve found the director of FEMA has been running around with his tail between his legs. The Mayor lashes out at the President and others. He asks people to flood offices with letters and calls as well as stop press conferences.

The biggest news from this report is how he gets real about the lawlessness. The real reason people are looting, shooting and stealing is because the poor drug addicts were left behind. Addicts cannot go cold turkey, especially in a situation like the one in New Orleans. The reports of people breaking into drugstores and hospitals are reports of addicts trying to get something to take the edge off.

The report is amazing! True desperation of a Mayor who cares about his city and who is willing to do anything is talking. He is not a polished speaker, he is a powerful, and emotion filled Mayor who knows what his city needs, but can’t get it fast enough.

To listen to the Mayor go to CNN and click on WATCH: Mayor ‘Get Off Your Asses’

Other coverage I’ve been paying attention to is the Times Picayune. The paper is only available online now as the offices are underwater. I first heard about it on NPR. There are tens of thousands of postings of people looking for entire families. Once I began reading these it broke my heart. One posting I read was of a place where there are 300 refugees. They are without food and water. To make matters worse the place is filled with many diabetics.

Right now I am in an odd situation. Aaron and I are unpacking our apartment. We are sorting through wonderful wedding gifts and running to Target to get what we need to finish making the apartment our home as I read and listen to accounts of thousands who have died and many more who are on the verge of death. We are so fortunate. We are so humbled.

Home: In St. Paul

After an excruciating 14.5-hour drive - that should have been 12 hours, Aaron and I arrived in the cities. It is good to have spent our first night in out new 70’s style place. There is of course, much to be done. Today we’ll grab our belongings from friends who were gracious enough to store our personal items as well as wedding gifts. Also in this time of moving we both have an important essay due to our synods. Let the fun begin!

Us

This pic has to be my favorite of the summer. Finally, we're married and able to enjoy a life together. This photo was taken outside of the Ohio Theater (facing the Ohio State House) where we saw the touring Broadway version of the Phantom of the Opera.

You know, found a few new scorpions in my bathroom and have learned how to kill giant spiders efficiently now. - Wes, friend and Peace Corp Volunteer in Thailand

Pietism

During my last day in the Lutheran Outdoors of Ohio Outreach office, I stumbled across “Renewing the Passion: a guide to spiritual revival” sent to the camp by the Division for Congregational Ministries. For an ELCA publication this looked pretty racy. The background section included a quote from an article by Professor Walter (Skip) Sundberg as well as the link to the article.

After my History of the Reformation, course I have dismissed pietism as fundagelical (fundamental + evangelical) Christianity and non-confessional Lutheranism. Skip, as usual, has challenged my ideas while remaining true to Lutheran doctrine.

How can awakening and God coming down be preached at the same time? Aren’t these two mutually exclusive? According to Skip, “to be awakened is to know that Jesus Christ alone is Savior and that the purpose of life is to love God and love the neighbor before satisfying the desires of the self.” In class lecture, he manages to talk about God coming down in a way that is personal.

I have found this to be true. “Unfortunately, many major Lutheran theologians writing today are unsympathetic to the heritage of Pietism. This is especially true of European Lutherans who, despite the fact that the church is in severe decline in lands such as Germany, Norway, and Sweden, continue to draw on old, narrow arguments to dismiss the Pietist critique of the church… He [Oswald Bayer] considers that movement as one of the most dangerous and destructive illusions of modern secular life, culminating in “Marxism.” This analysis, certainly typical of intellectuals in the church, is patently ridiculous.”

“Mission is what the church is called into being to do. Unless a church is in mission, it is no church.” Powerful! More over, “the mission of the church requires awakened souls. Awakened individuals and Lutheran congregations built the church in America from colonial times to the great flowering of membership after the Second World War. Since the 1960s, however, Lutherans seem to have entered 40 years (a long time in the Bible) of membership decline and doctrinal drift. Perhaps, once again it is time for our synod committees, who are charged with the responsibility for examining ministerial candidates, to ask them about their “awakening” in the faith! If our ministers and members could give personal testimony to the work of Christ, we would be in a much different place as a church.”

What are we afraid of? Why doesn’t this take place in our pews today? Is it the laity who frequently preach themselves going to God? Could it be that we are not secure in our Lutheran identity and therefore we must protect it? Is this reaction what is killing our Lutheran identity? Is this what keeps Lutherans from evangelizing? When will it be safe to open our mouths and risk saying something not “theologically sound” for the sake of Christ? When was the last time I talked about what God was doing? When will I get out of my head and into my heart? I am proposing using both mind and soul to proclaim Christ. This is radical! We have what the world needs, why can’t we share?

Thoughts of the Hour

Jack Update: He is heading to rehab today or tomorrow for a few days/weeks. He is feeling much better however, in addition to his physical limitations he continues to exhibit short-term memory problems.

Other than being constantly worrying about Jack and Katelynn, life is continuing. The reality that Aaron and I will not be separated again is setting in and it’s wonderful! I’m super excited for the events of this week. Lori is in an airplane on her way to Ohio from Minnesota, tomorrow night Shannon, Amber, Laurie, Lori, Aaron and I have tickets to see the Phantom of the Opera, Thursday some of the Bradley clan, Chad, Katelynn, Lori, Aaron, Shannon and I will be playing the day away at Wyandot Lake, Friday is the Ohio reception and Mike (Aaron’s best man and Shan’s new beau) flies in and Saturday is Aaron’s 25th Bonfire Birthday Bash. All this excitement would be a lot on a normal week, however, with Jack in the hospital it adds a new dimension of tiredness and stress. I find myself not wanting to deal with details of anything – I just want to go and have things happen. Unfortunately, I am the planning type and just happened to plan all the fun things for the week. Add that to my procrastination and you’ll get a reception (80+ friends/family have RSVPed) that needs a menu created, food/drinks bought. In the end it will all work beautifully, it always does.

Ohio Girls

Grandma Miller sent me this joke - as a married girl it's pretty good!
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Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Alabama and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed to be done at their house. He said that it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Ohio girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything; but by the third day, most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye -- enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher and telephone a lawn service.

Gotta love them Ohio Girls

Jack Update

Yesterday’s surgery (this is #2 folks) went very well. Less than an hour after he returned to his room, he was sitting up in bed and eating clear liquids – both firsts since the accident! Today his goal is to sit in a chair for 4 hours. Due to the removal of a drainage tube in his back, his morphine intake has been decreased significantly. He fully participated in a 30 minute conversation with six visitors - increased concentration level with the decrease of pain medications. Aaron, Shannon and I are headed up for another day of fun at The Ohio State University Medical Center – yeah!

The wedding and my brother

At noon on Saturday, the wedding ceremony began. The wedding itself and the reception afterwards was beautiful and wonderful. Check out a few of the early pictures on the Aaron ‘n’ Chris, my latest blog. However, at midnight we learned that my brother, lil Jack, was being taken by life flight to a hospital in Ohio. Mom, Jack, Chad and Grandma left at 1am to be with him. He suffered a cut in the back of his head that required staples, a few pieces of glass in his neck and vertebrae numbers 5-12 were crushed. It is a miracle that he is not paralyzed. On Tuesday, he had two metal rods put in his back. Today we learned that one of the screws is pressing on his aorta and tomorrow morning he will be back in surgery to shorten the screw. Even before today’s setback, he was looking at a lengthy recovery. Tonight Aaron and I were with his daughter/ our Goddaughter, Katelynn. She is constantly talking about her daddy, as she hasn’t seen him since Saturday. I took pictures of our evening together for Jack, and they are available on the Pics Page for you.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow at this time I will be leaving for the airport to fly to Aberdeen, SD to marry Aaron. Right now, I’m at the office feeling the most unfocused I ever have. Mel just called and we ended the conversation almost crying. It’s one of those times that the friends and family I have are shining through. Saturday 25-30 women gathered to throw me a beautiful wedding shower, Sunday I preached and received more hugs than handshakes as the 180ish worshipers left the sanctuary, that night I had drinks with my brother, Jack who can’t make the trip to SD, yesterday Diane, Sarah and Casey took me to Brio for dinner and then I went to Diane’s for a glass of wine and to view Office Space. I am excited, overwhelmed and anxious. Tomorrow I get to fly to my Aaron, ahh, tomorrow.

God

While writing my sermon for this week I came across this joke. Too bad it's not appropriate for church ...

A nine year old boy came to his mother with a very troubled look on his face. "Mom," he said, "is God a male or a female?"

"Well, that's a very hard question to answer," said his mom. "But the easiest way to think of it is that God is both male and female."

A troubled look swept across the boy's face. "But Mom, is God black or white?" The mother, with some concern about where this line of questions might end up, answered, "I guess you would have to say that God is both black and white."

The boy was obviously filled with tremendous confusion as he started to form his third question. The mother, by now, was becoming somewhat alarmed. She braced herself for the next question. "Mom, is God gay or straight?" She took a deep breath and said, "God is both gay and straight."

The look of total consternation melted away as the boy's face lit up. The mother sighed to herself, relieved that he finally "got it."

"Mom?" he asked. "Is God Michael Jackson?"

Newness

Not a very interesting photo, but how it landed here is. Well, it's not interesting as much as it is exciting. Tonight Aaron and I received a digital camera from Grandma Miller! I don't know much, but I do know it's a awesome package with a Nikon Coolpix 5600 5.0 megapixels and 518mb stick. Soon the pics will be flowing as we put this baby to work;)

Reflections Priesthood of All Believers and Other Pious Myths ...bye to do list

Timothy Wengert wrote an interesting Priesthood of All Believers and Other Pious Myths tearing apart many common Lutheran myths. First off, Wengert says that Luther and Melanchthon were colleagues and not friends, how sad. I had pictured the two drinking in pubs swapping family stories while batting theological ideas around – I guess they aren’t the modern day Chris and Lori. His thesis, “In fact, once we jettison this notion and approach Luther’s own statements de novo, we discover a far more revolutionary approach to Christian ministry – one that, to be sure, totally eliminates the distinction between the laity and clergy, while at the same time giving new authority and purpose to the public office of ministry in Christ’s church.”

One sentence I particularly enjoy speaks to clergy, “holding an office within the one body of Christ can never be a claim to power but a powerful claim to weakness, to service.” Also of note, “service, understood as dying for the other.” He also claims that priest rightfully used is, “a Christian or spiritual human being.” Does this statement bring up the spiritual verses religious debate? I sure hope not!

In contrast to Kelly Fryer’s teaching Wengert states, “the point of all of these offices [shoemaker, law enforcement and clergy] is always and only service: whether making shoes, keeping order or administering God’s Word and sacraments.” He says that it is the office of priest or bishop that make this one’s work. Fryer conversely has encouraged laity (if I can use the term anymore) to preside. She claims that pastors are called to administer Word and sacrament. Administration doesn’t mean ‘to do’ rather it is to oversee the proper ‘doing.’

Reading things like this always makes me think. The teachings from Mary Jane Haemig’s History of the Reformation are challenged. Through what lens was she reading and therefore feeding to us, her students? Do I ever think an original thought. It seems this early in my theological studies that I take in all the ideas from my professors and realize the juxtaposition. I try to fit articles like this into my already existing schema, but it doesn’t always work. What does it mean to be a part of the priesthood of all believers? Today I will say that it is one faith, one baptism and one Lord. More than that, ask me over a pint.

To do...

*Watch Jesus Christ Superstar & write a final paper 7/22
*Attend bachelorette party 7/22
*Address and mail 50+ wedding reception invitations 7/25
*Lead 80 children in Activities and Games during VBS 7/25-7/29
*Memorize lines for the daily VBS drama 7/25-29
*Attend wedding shower 7/30
*Prepare sermon and preach 7/31
*Post for online course (if possible) 8/2
*Fly to SD 8/3
*Marry Aaron;) 8/6

Umm, all things are possible with God:)

The Gynecologist and The Ex

Mom and I had planned a day at the Dr’s, lunch and Aaron’s birthday/last minute wedding shopping. Well, the title does tell all, when we walked into the Dr’s office, and I went to the window to get the necessary paperwork. I sat down and noticed there was a guy reading a magazine in the corner. Immediately I realized it was Jason, the guy I dated for two years in high school. On the form I was filling out one question asked if I have ever had surgery. I asked Mom, “how do you spell’ tonsil’ because I didn’t have spell check.” He burst out laughing so hard he cried – I’ve never been able to spell. That began an hour-long conversation between him, Mom and I. After a few minutes, his girlfriend walked out and just stood beside him and they called me back shortly after her entrance. So, I saw the Doc and when I walked out, Mom and Jason were still talking!

Okay, how weird is it to run into your ex in this situation, but walking out after being in to see the Doc and they’re still sitting there talking is just strange. It was very bizarre that the girl didn’t say one word. She wasn’t upset about the never-ending conversation; she just sat quietly. Our families were close and we were all swapping updates. Mom said that we had a new little one in the family (meaning Katelynn) and he looked at me with disbelief thinking she was mine. I wonder if a baby is the reason they were there.

At one point Mom got him good. He was talking about working on cars and Mom said, “oh you must’ve gotten a lot better.” He looked at me with a shocked look and then we exploded into laughter and I responded with an, “ouch, Mom.” It was an odd meeting, but good too.

It’s so weird to think about how my life would be different if we were still together. His greatest life achievement is winning a feature race at Columbus Motor Speedway and he works at KFC (not that there's anything wrong with KFC but he’s) without any plans for college or another job.

Today I really learned the meaning behind the country song, “Unanswered Prayers.” “As we walked away I looked at ‘my mom’ then and there I thanked the Lord for the gifts in my life….I guess the Lord knows what He’s doing after all.” Thank the Lord for Aaron, the love of my life!

Party Animal

Since we do not know when the partying Messiah will return I thought I would post my plans for feeding Him upon His return. I do this hoping others will leave comments creating a forum of sorts. I also do this with only past accounts of His partying. My request to readers, please read this post and comment with your thoughts and ideas on what Jesus would need from a party planner.

For my research, I used BibleWorks, Kohlenberger’s Concordance and Lexicon as well as the New Oxford Annotated Bible. The following does not contain Greek references as not all readers have training in biblical Greek.
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A cautious beginning, Jesus isn’t against breaking tradition. His tradition of partying is not a tradition I would expect Him to uphold. His record of overturning the expected is to be expected. See Matthew 15:1-20.

If Jesus continues with patterns found in the Gospels, we can expect a glutton and drunkard who eats with tax collectors, Pharisees and sinners. See Matthew 11:19 and Luke 7:34, 36.

Jesus will perform miracles at unexpected times and in unlikely ways. He is willing to turn water into wine for party guests who are already drunk. See John 2:1-11.

The most important consumption made by Christ was the Last Supper. This was the Passover meal and I will anticipate a traditional Passover meal as He is a Jew. In opposition to the way we Protestant Christians remember this event, I would make provisions for much to be eaten, more than a sip of wine and a pinch of bread for those present. See Mark 14, Matthew 26, Luke 22 and John 13.
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This is not a comprehensive list. Jesus often talks about eating in parables. I have focused on actual eating. In order to be ready for the coming Messiah I need your comments!

Wedding Drama

Tonight I called my dressmaker to arrange the final fitting. She informed me that this would be the last wedding dress she will make as my dress is the biggest puzzle she’s put together. During the conversation she mentioned that she’ll be at church on July 31st to hear me preach. I asked her how she found out I was preaching. Apparently, Pastor Ray was going over his schedule and mentioned my filling the pulpit. She mentioned concern about his scheduling two weddings within 24 hours of each other, one in SD and the other an hour and a half from his home in Dayton, Ohio. I explained that I called to let him know I would be married in SD and thought that he wouldn’t be able to attend as I couldn’t begin to pay travel expenses. He received approval from the council to go to SD and I the words of Penny, ”she’s one of ours, get out there!”

Mom's House

This weekend I'm tag-team babysitting for a 3 1/2 and 7 year-old. For our afternoon together we headed out to my mom's to swim, to let them play with Katelynn and to have Shannon over. Shannon and I were lying on a oversized beach towel talking about the summer. We decided that Mom's is far enough from the city to be a retreat, but close enough to get to anytime. As a babysitter it was great. The kids had another kid to play with and endless play with two pools, a two story clubhouse, a 60 foot black-top driveway for bikes and scoters and a creek. Of all the places in Ohio I think Mom's and the Bradley's place feel the safest. Not safe in a watch your back someone will rob or kill you kind of way. I'm talking about a place where I can do what I feel like, say what I want to, wear whatever and sleep when I need to and no one will think less of me or question my actions. Mom's happens to be in the country. Shannon and I often slip away to lil hidden respites on the swing in the trees, on the glider front porch or on a beach blanket in the backyard. It's there that we talk about guys, plan gatherings, make fun of celebrity hair styles and solve our world's problems. Today the problem of Ohio came up. I feel blessed to have a summer at home, and I love being at Mom's. I also miss Aaron very much. I want it all - Ohio and Aaron. Soon the two will be together for a few short weeks. Soon.

Relaxing and Writing

In 21 hours my 12 pager on the Matrix is due. However, I feel as though I need to do some preliminary writing to get ‘in the mood’. In preparation for sitting down to write, I turned on study music (Classical because I can’t find my Luciano Pavarotti CD) and lit candles. It’s amazing how these two changes in a room can change the way I think and feel. My mind is letting go of the busyness of my day and switching into academic mode. During the pre-VBS meeting today, Jeri told me that Bethel will have an awesome baptismal font. I ask if it had 8 sides and she responded, ‘why?’ I couldn’t think of why! Of the new creation of the 8th day or the 8th day for circumcision with all it’s newness. It was good to be at Bethel preparing for VBS as a teacher. It brought back memories of my last summer madness in Milwaukee – 100 people each Wednesday, new volunteers from the suburbs each week and a fieldtrips on 5 Saturdays. It’s good to teach and not direct! Well, my study food/lunch for tomorrow/whatever has just arrived – small pizza, stromboli and a sub (I had a coupon to get it all free – I love ordering piles of food!).

New Country

Below is a forward I recently received...


Dear Red States;

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've
decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're
taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave
states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and
Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We
get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make
the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-
war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.
If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose,
and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80
percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at
state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech
industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with
88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent
of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a
whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the
death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a
theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of
you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we
lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely, Author Unknown in New California.

Two Reunions and a Shower

I’m in SD once again visiting Aaron! This time our weekend started Friday night with a joint shower for his lil sister, Amber and I. It good to be meeting his family, but it is very odd receiving generous gifts from people you’ve never met. When I say family, I’m taking grandparents and aunts/uncles, not just super extended family. After the shower, Aaron, Lori and I drove back to Sioux Falls and had a few of the cheapest beers EVER at Nutties. It was great to see Lori again and talk a lil theology over a cold one.

Saturday we were up before 10 and at the reunion by noon meeting more family! That evening we went to Sioux Falls (literally, the falls) with a few friends to watch the lighting ceremony (lasers and colored lights). We tried to go to sleep early, but ended up having an excellent discussion until 2am. By the end, we had both laughed and sobbed.

Sunday was an early morning as he gave the children’s sermon at the 8:30 and 10:00 worship services. After that, it was the final family gathering. Seeing all the aunts and uncles a few times in a row was really good. His family has been very gracious, friendly and welcoming. Following the reunion we had a 2-hour nap, went to see War of the World and talked again until late into the night.

It's Monday and reality is setting in. 25 days until the wedding, 2 problems for my online course and a 12 page paper to do.

Weirdest OT Laws

When an ox gores a man or woman to death, the ox shall be stoned, and its flesh shall not be eaten; but the owner of the ox shall not be liable. -Exodus 21:28

You shall not boil a kid in its mother's milk -Exodus 23:19b

All winged insects that walk up on all fours are detestable to you. But amond the winged insects that walk on all fours you may eat those that have jointed legs above their feet. Leviticus 11:20-21
"The law is unclear whether it is legal to eat the bug if you first pull off the legs."

No person among you shall eat blood. -Leviticus 17:12
Kris Madsen, what will you do with your 'mooing' rare steaks?

You shall not wear clothes made of wool and linen woven together. -Deuteronomy 22:11 Remember, "Polyester came along after Bible times."

Adapted from The Lutheran Handbook

Grandma and TV

I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and looked down the hall into Grandma’s room.

Me: Grandma, the crazy President is on.
Grandma: Yeah, I know, I turned Friends on.

How cool is it that my grandma hates Bush as much as I do and that she’s watching Friends without my influence.
___________________

Again, I walked past Grandma’s room.

Me: What are you watching with that smirk on your face
Grandma: Sex and the City. She just gave him a new pair of underwear because he’s touching himself down there.

Now she's watching Sex and the City (my aunt was an extra for a while which got her hooked on the series). What's next?

Suicide

Tonight at 10:13, I received a call from a number that I didn’t recognize. I was sitting in the Black Cloister at Trinity Lutheran Seminary where I had just finished watching a movie for my Bible and Film course. When I answered the voice on the other end said, “Hi this is Eric.” I couldn’t place him, but soon I realized that it was Eric, Melodi’s husband. I was excited when I finally figured out who this mystery voice was. Then I heard news that changed everything, “this morning Melodi’s dad committed suicide.” I talked for 5 minutes gathering what little information I could think to get – without getting too personal. I’m sure he’s told it a million times already and is numb and raw. After the conversation I was left with the instructions to tell 4 seminary friends as well as our LVC community. How do I do that? How do I communicate this news? What is a suicide? It’s a manner of killing yourself, but that’s so cold and doesn’t begin to touch the emotions surrounding the tragedy. I got to my car and sobbed a few minutes before getting on the road. After being emotionally raw from CPE how is Melodi coping? Where did her dad think God was when he was in need? It’s times like these that I cling to Romans 8, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Anything else in all creation – including suicide, that is not chosen, but happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.

What must it be like for Melodi’s mom to go to bed tonight? They’re living in the house that he lived in. He’s everywhere but not really. What could I have done differently, is being asked. I pray for Melodi and her family, for healing and comfort that only God can accomplish.

120 Ounces

www.ComFest.com Today I went to Comfest, the largest non-commercial gathering in the U.S. and connected with a side of me I’ve been neglecting. The guiding principles...
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Statement of Principles

We think that people ought to work for the collective good of all people rather than for personal gain. We support cooperation and collective activity rather than competition and individual profit.

The basic necessities of life are a right and not a privilege. People have the collective right to control the conditions of their lives.

People should strive to conduct their lives in harmony with the environment.

We recognize that there are primary attitudes which divide and oppress people. These attitudes are usually shown by prejudice against people on the basis of age, class, ability, income, race, sex, and sexual preference/ orientation.

We seek to eliminate these attitudes.
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The spirit of the festivities were in line with these principles. I spent the day walking around art booths, listening to local music, being around people of tolerance and gentleness as well as eating and drinking the best Columbus has to offer (beer and brats!).

Now that I am home I am filled with the need to reconnect in different ways. Tomorrow I am planning to go to my home church for early service at Bethel Lutheran in Grove City and then heading to St. John’s in Columbus. St. John’s is where I was baptized. I cannot remember ever being there. Somehow, I feel a need to go and see this area of Columbus that is often forgotten. It is not downtown, but it is far from suburban. I am interested to go and worship not only to worship with whom I can worship with, but also to feel my emotions to the place in which was so climatic for me over 22 years ago. I was baptized in a Lutheran church, but my parents were not Lutheran. How odd.

Mamaw

“When God seems far away,” these words were written beside Psalm 139 in my great grandmother, Mamaw’s, bible. Tonight God seems far away. I am alone in Ohio - Grandma is in West Virginia so I am sleeping in her ultra-comfy bed. I found Mamaw’s bible on the table beside the bed and found two things of interest. One being Psalm 139, which I really needed to read right now. Being ‘home’ has lead to many travels on memory lane. It seems that the past few years I have been away, but never fully. My history is wrapped up in the people and memories I am finding daily. Tonight, it happens to be Mamaw.

The second find worth noting is a newspaper clipping. I found it in Leviticus 21-23 of her King James Giant Print Bible. Mamaw was a life long Church of God member so I can’t imagine how the literal word of God would be interpreted after reading the article below. The letter to the editor appeared in the Columbus Dispatch August 19, 2003, a few months before her death.
________________________________________________________
Many Bible Passages Inappropriate Today by Rick Elkhatib

I respond to all who have written in favor of sodomy laws based on Bible passages. After reading these letters, I decided to read the Book of Leviticus, and now I wholeheartedly agree. However, we should take it a few steps further.

First, I propose that Congress make slavery legal. Leviticus 25:44 clearly states that people may buy slaves, and Exodus 21:7 allows selling daughters into slavery. If the same book that says homosexuality is an abomination suggests that slavery is OK, then it must be true. I also propose that all women must wear clearly visible armbands during menstruation. This way, people can avoid contact with them or anything they touch, as in Leviticus 15:19-24.

Because Exodus states that working on the Sabbath is a sin punishable by death, every state should reserve one day each week to follow through with this punishment. On the Sabbath, all hospitals and police stations will be closed.

But what am I doing preaching Christianity? I wear contacts, and my hair is thinning – Leviticus 21:20 clearly states that no one with a defect in sight or any blemish or deformity may approach the altar of God.
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This evening a good friend urged me to read an article by Walter Bouman an emeritus professor of theology at Trinity Lutheran Seminary. He is preparing to die. He is preparing to live. This was appropriately published on what would have been Mamaw’s 94th birthday.

The Constantly Changing Wernicke’s

How is it that last night I was crying because my grandma has decided that at 89, she is too old to travel from Ohio to South Dakota and tonight the realities of my 13-year-old cousin’s brain tumor make me cry? As I began writing, 100 Years by 5 for Fighting came through the Media Player. Will Bryee make it to 22? What quality of life will she find after treatment? I began googling ‘pediatric brain tumor’ and found mixed results. I wanted to read that all children are cured, but this is not so. Googling something like ‘pediatric brain tumor’ makes it real. I believe for my generation when something is important you google it to get fast, possibly helpful answers. I googled her condition! Will she have her 100 years to live? I return to questions of death and suffering and God. It is easy to know ultimately what will happen to this faithful youth, but what about now? What about her earthly needs? What is prayer? If enough people say the correct prayers, will God respond in a manner of healing? What about the child in Africa dying of AIDS? Is that one forgotten if prayers are not uttered on their behalf? Tonight I had dinner with the Bradley’s and Mel was getting ready to go to a Cocaine Anonymous meeting with a parishioner from Bethel. This woman is getting ready to celebrate her first year of sobriety after 8 years of using, praise the Lord! Was it God? If it was then where is God in Bryee’s life? Is it all random? Is there a purpose to everything? Is there a purpose to anything? How is Bryee’s tumor praising God or making God known? It’s times like this when I know that God is steadfast and unchanging. Does that make this easier or harder? Right now, I can’t tell.

How long is a year?

While talking on the long drive Sunday the radio played a few songs and ask which year they came out ’92’, ‘93’ or ‘94’. Aaron and I discussed what happened for us those years and then continued the drive. Today when I clicked on the Lutheran Volunteer Corps homepage I was reminded of last year as my house’s commissioning photo popped up. Last year at this time, I was living in Milwaukee getting into my summer of running youth programs for 40-100. I knew I was Luther bound, but I also thought that I would be pursuing my Masters of Social Work at Augsburg College. My step-bro, Jack, just got custody of his 3-year-old daughter Katelynn. My grandparents announced their divorce in July. In August, I make it to Ohio for the first time in over 6 months before trekking to St. Paul. Once in St. Paul school took over my life. In November, I realize my Greek tutor would make an awesome boyfriend. Also I November, I made the drive from Minnesota to Georgia to protest the School of the Americas and my grandparents divorce was final. Christmas was fun as 6/7 households in my family lost power due to the ice storm. In January, grandpa remarried while grandma and I were at Daytona Beach, FL. February Aaron ask me to marry him and we made plans to meet each others families before it could be ‘official.’ Over Easter, he traveled to Ohio with me and the next weekend I made it to South Dakota for the first time in my life. April 6th we heard back from his pastor that yes, August 6th works as a wedding date in Aberdeen, SD. May I moved back to Ohio with Aaron’s help. We were home in time for me to keep my three-year-old promise to Chad (my lil bro) to go to the midnight opening showing of Star Wars III at the coolest theater in Columbus. The next Sunday Aaron and I became Katelynn’s Godparents. That day Aaron flew to SD and I left for another beach trip, this time with Mom and Phyllis as well as grandma and I. Now I’ve landed in a Burger King in Sioux Falls, SD visiting Aaron. Whew (in the word of Grandma).

SD Travels

When my plane landed, we were a little early. I got off and walked the 20 feet from the plane to baggage claim and there was no Aaron! I started to check to make sure that I had indeed landed in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Then I looked out the door and there he was. Yeah, I had made it! There is nothing better than an airport reunion – okay, there is, but it was pretty darn nice.

Wednesday and Thursday were a bit of a blur. Friday we set off for the Black Hills, a 6-hour trip (5 had I driven the whole way – but a girl needs her beauty rest). We stayed in Hill City, which is less than 20 minutes from Mt. Rushmore and Outlaw Ranch (the camp Aaron worked at during college). Friday night we went karaoke-ing with a group from Outlaw including Audra, Aaron’s lil sistah. It was tons o’ fun! Saturday we did the Mt. Rushmore thing. It was bigger than I had expected. We’re such dorks, we forgot the camera in Sioux Falls and never stopped to get one. I used my phone as much as possible for photos, but there are so many things I missed (like the Bad Lands, the most beautiful part of the country I've seen, other than West Virginia of course). That night we went to the Inn for dinner. The doors open at 4 and seating begins at 5. Our group of 20 were seated right away. The waitress came and ask our drink orders, whether we wanted a 6 or 9 ounce steak and how we wanted it cooked. We started with a literal ¼ head of lettuce with ranch on it. Then came the meal of filet minion, baked potato and bread. For dessert you have choices – we landed with tiramisu. Afterwards we invited the staff to swim at the pool at our hotel. We had over 10 counselors and support staff swimming and hot tubing! Sunday we did the church thing in a town called Custer. The church was on a hill and used natural lighting and had the windows open during worship. I believe it was the most welcoming church I have ever been to! The sermon was one that I couldn’t figure out. I didn’t really hear law or gospel. Umm, problem! On the way back I was trying to call my step-dad. I left a few messages telling him to call on Aaron’s phone, the number that I called him from. Well, he didn’t have it, and had to call Aaron’s parents. He talked with his mom. When I saw her last night she said that he had a really southern accent. I was shocked! I thought that my mom and grandma did, but never him! She said she can’t wait for them to come to SD for the wedding just so she can talk with them and hear the accent. Apparently, the southerners don’t make it to SD much.

That’s my trip so far. It’s so nice to be in the same place as Aaron again;) The wedding is so close, yet so far.

Too early to be morning, too late to be night

It's 5:09am (EST) and I'm sitting at Port Columbus International Airport getting ready for my journey to Sioux Falls, SD. Amen to the genius who decided to make the entire airport free wi-fi! As I sit at the gate (not a single restaurant is open this early) writing, I turn on my Media Player and At Last is the first some to shuffle through. That's how I feel - after 3 1/2 weeks apart today is here 'at last.' I'm off with a whopping two hours of sleep behind me!

Minestrone - LVC Style

This has to be my fav. soup to cook and eat. I've made it twice for family gatherings and it was the most loved course of the meal!
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2T. olive oil
1 lg. carrot, diced
1 lg. celery stalk, thickly sliced
1 med. onion, diced
1 sm. garlic clove, cut in half
1/4 lb. green beans, cut in 1 inch
6c. water
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. oregano
1/4 sm. head cabbage, shredded (3c)
1 med. zucchini, diced
1(8oz.) can tomatoes
2 vegetable-flavor bouillon cubes or env.
1/4c. elbow macaroni
1/2 (10oz) bag spinach shredded
2 cans beans drained
grated parmesan

Over medium-high heat, in hot olive oil, cook carrot,
celery, onion, garlic and green beans until lightly
browned, about 15 mins., stirring occasionally.
Discard garlic, Add water, salt oregano cabbage,
zucchini, tomatoes with their liquid and bouillon.
Bring to a boil, stirring to break up tomatoes.
Reduce heat to low, Cover and simmer 25 mins. or until
vegetables are tender. Stir in macaroni, spinach and
beans. Cook 10 mins. or until macaroni is very
tender and soup is slightly thickened. Pass cheese to
sprinkle over each serving.

a Bathtub

Tonight I realized that when Aaron and I move into our apartment we'll have a bathtub! For some, this is insignificant, but for others, it is a lifeboat. Before the past two years, bad days always ended in a long hot soak with bath oil, candles, music or a book and a glass of wine. After that regiment, any problem would melt away enough for sleep to find me. Coming in late August, I will have a place with a bathtub! In two months from today, I'll have a husband. Well, off to the tub...

Gazpacho-the Ultimate Summer Dinner

Serving Size: 8

Ingredients

3 cups tomatoes, red ripe, seeded and diced
2 cups red bell pepper, diced medium
2 cups red onions, diced medium
1/2 cup celery, diced medium
2 cups cucumber, diced medium
1 teaspoon garlic, minced
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
2 cups organic vegetable juice
pinch cayenne
1 teaspoon cumin

Method
Mix diced tomato, peppers, red onions, celery and cucumber together in a
medium bowl. Divide the mixture in half and separate in two bowls.

Add garlic to one of the bowls and empty into blender. Add vinegar to the
blender and puree until smooth.

Add the vegetable juice, cayenne and cumin to the blender. Blend.

Add the puree to the bowl of diced vegetables.

Refrigerate overnight - serve cold. Garnish with lemon and cilantro.

Sleepless

It's 2am and I've spent the last 5 hours watching 5 episodes of West Wing, cleaning my room, writing out my schedule for the week and making a new CD. I know I'm exhausted, but sleep is far from me. I think about the week to come, the month to come, the wedding and how I wonder how I'll get through till the wedding. I want to write, read, think, but I am exhausted. Here goes...

Four related women, but oh so different

Mom-my mother, early 50’s but refusing to accept that. Housewife. Mother to many.
Grandma-Mom’s mom, 69 years and 9 months. Recently divorced. Discovering independence.
Phyllis-Grandma’s sister, 72. WV Church of God preacher-enough said.
Me-23. 2 months and 6 days from my wedding. Transitioning to a summer with family.

Mom, Grandma and I left Ohio after putting Aaron on a plane for the twin cities with the final destination of Sioux Falls, SD for his CPE site. We picked up Phyllis in WV and headed for the beach. We got here and were able to enjoy a few hours of lying in the sun. The next two days were unseasonably cold, 55-60 for highs, and wet. Mom and I spent them reading, drinking and shopping. Today, finally, 75 and sunny. Tonight it’s dinner then bottles of wine on the beach for Mom and I. Tomorrow we have an extended checkout in order to get 3 hours of fun in the sun before we leave.

This morning Phyllis gets up and talks LOUDLY on the phone before 7. at 7:30 she decides we need to wake up and enters our room screaming, “Get up girls, it’s sunny, get out to the beach!” I answered, “Phyllis, get away!” When I wanted to say, “Phyllis, fuck!” I stopped myself and later told Mom of this urge. We wondered when the last time she heard that word and her name in the same sentence.

While catching the rays I finished reading The Notebook. I can’t imagine the pain of watching a lover be affected by Alzheimer’s disease. A few years ago I watched my other grandma do this and it was visibly very painful. But the details of love described bring it to a new level, as do my feelings for Aaron. Realizing that we’ll get old and watch each other’s health deteriorate is hard. I question my willingness to spend this summer apart. What about later in life when the thought of a summer given up will seem the most foolish thing I’ve done. Yes, we talk a few hours a day, but it’s not the same. How can a disease be so cruel? Which is worse, losing your memories or excruciating pain? I’d have to say losing memories. For now, Aaron and I are blessed with health, but I think about Grandma and cry.