Newlywed Holidays

This morning when I turned on my computer my instant messenger popped up with it’s info page. On the info page was an MSN lifestyle article “Whose Home for the Holidays?” which I clicked on out of curiosity. From my pre-Aaron days, I know how messy just my family can be and now we’re a family and still very connected to our families of origin. This is good, but stressful. According to the article, “It begins the moment you're married and it never stops -- even after you're dead. It's the competition over whose family gets more time with you, as a married couple. And, believe me, it's a competition that nobody really wins, which is amazing when you consider how much time and energy is spent keeping score.” This scares me! I write this knowing that both families will read this, so I know it’s inevitable, but STOP! We will see one family more than the other and we have more than enough love for both of you and if you feel like your being cheated then come visit us – you’re ALWAYS welcome.

I write this already feeling defensive. In two weeks, I’ll be in NYC with Grandma and Tina. While I’m super excited about this I feel like I’m cheating the Matson’s. We could go to SD earlier if I wasn’t going away. Luckily, Audra and Jake are coming to visit just after I get back so it’s not a total Matson loss, but why am I keeping score already? I really like SD although I will definitely miss my family this Christmas. Earlier this week while talking with my mom, she ask what my favorite part of Christmas week was. When I answered, we were both almost in tears. I hate the reality that one of us has to be away each holiday and I’m counting the years until we can’t travel (being pastors makes you responsible for parishes on holidays) and having to say, "if you want to see us we’re hosting a huge holiday party, bring your air mattresses and c’mon!" Until then, and as long as we both shall live, I want score keeping to go away. Each family will have things that we feel we just NEED to be at and one family will be cheated. Each family needs to know that there is love and longing to be with you, always.