God

While writing my sermon for this week I came across this joke. Too bad it's not appropriate for church ...

A nine year old boy came to his mother with a very troubled look on his face. "Mom," he said, "is God a male or a female?"

"Well, that's a very hard question to answer," said his mom. "But the easiest way to think of it is that God is both male and female."

A troubled look swept across the boy's face. "But Mom, is God black or white?" The mother, with some concern about where this line of questions might end up, answered, "I guess you would have to say that God is both black and white."

The boy was obviously filled with tremendous confusion as he started to form his third question. The mother, by now, was becoming somewhat alarmed. She braced herself for the next question. "Mom, is God gay or straight?" She took a deep breath and said, "God is both gay and straight."

The look of total consternation melted away as the boy's face lit up. The mother sighed to herself, relieved that he finally "got it."

"Mom?" he asked. "Is God Michael Jackson?"

Newness

Not a very interesting photo, but how it landed here is. Well, it's not interesting as much as it is exciting. Tonight Aaron and I received a digital camera from Grandma Miller! I don't know much, but I do know it's a awesome package with a Nikon Coolpix 5600 5.0 megapixels and 518mb stick. Soon the pics will be flowing as we put this baby to work;)

Reflections Priesthood of All Believers and Other Pious Myths ...bye to do list

Timothy Wengert wrote an interesting Priesthood of All Believers and Other Pious Myths tearing apart many common Lutheran myths. First off, Wengert says that Luther and Melanchthon were colleagues and not friends, how sad. I had pictured the two drinking in pubs swapping family stories while batting theological ideas around – I guess they aren’t the modern day Chris and Lori. His thesis, “In fact, once we jettison this notion and approach Luther’s own statements de novo, we discover a far more revolutionary approach to Christian ministry – one that, to be sure, totally eliminates the distinction between the laity and clergy, while at the same time giving new authority and purpose to the public office of ministry in Christ’s church.”

One sentence I particularly enjoy speaks to clergy, “holding an office within the one body of Christ can never be a claim to power but a powerful claim to weakness, to service.” Also of note, “service, understood as dying for the other.” He also claims that priest rightfully used is, “a Christian or spiritual human being.” Does this statement bring up the spiritual verses religious debate? I sure hope not!

In contrast to Kelly Fryer’s teaching Wengert states, “the point of all of these offices [shoemaker, law enforcement and clergy] is always and only service: whether making shoes, keeping order or administering God’s Word and sacraments.” He says that it is the office of priest or bishop that make this one’s work. Fryer conversely has encouraged laity (if I can use the term anymore) to preside. She claims that pastors are called to administer Word and sacrament. Administration doesn’t mean ‘to do’ rather it is to oversee the proper ‘doing.’

Reading things like this always makes me think. The teachings from Mary Jane Haemig’s History of the Reformation are challenged. Through what lens was she reading and therefore feeding to us, her students? Do I ever think an original thought. It seems this early in my theological studies that I take in all the ideas from my professors and realize the juxtaposition. I try to fit articles like this into my already existing schema, but it doesn’t always work. What does it mean to be a part of the priesthood of all believers? Today I will say that it is one faith, one baptism and one Lord. More than that, ask me over a pint.

To do...

*Watch Jesus Christ Superstar & write a final paper 7/22
*Attend bachelorette party 7/22
*Address and mail 50+ wedding reception invitations 7/25
*Lead 80 children in Activities and Games during VBS 7/25-7/29
*Memorize lines for the daily VBS drama 7/25-29
*Attend wedding shower 7/30
*Prepare sermon and preach 7/31
*Post for online course (if possible) 8/2
*Fly to SD 8/3
*Marry Aaron;) 8/6

Umm, all things are possible with God:)

The Gynecologist and The Ex

Mom and I had planned a day at the Dr’s, lunch and Aaron’s birthday/last minute wedding shopping. Well, the title does tell all, when we walked into the Dr’s office, and I went to the window to get the necessary paperwork. I sat down and noticed there was a guy reading a magazine in the corner. Immediately I realized it was Jason, the guy I dated for two years in high school. On the form I was filling out one question asked if I have ever had surgery. I asked Mom, “how do you spell’ tonsil’ because I didn’t have spell check.” He burst out laughing so hard he cried – I’ve never been able to spell. That began an hour-long conversation between him, Mom and I. After a few minutes, his girlfriend walked out and just stood beside him and they called me back shortly after her entrance. So, I saw the Doc and when I walked out, Mom and Jason were still talking!

Okay, how weird is it to run into your ex in this situation, but walking out after being in to see the Doc and they’re still sitting there talking is just strange. It was very bizarre that the girl didn’t say one word. She wasn’t upset about the never-ending conversation; she just sat quietly. Our families were close and we were all swapping updates. Mom said that we had a new little one in the family (meaning Katelynn) and he looked at me with disbelief thinking she was mine. I wonder if a baby is the reason they were there.

At one point Mom got him good. He was talking about working on cars and Mom said, “oh you must’ve gotten a lot better.” He looked at me with a shocked look and then we exploded into laughter and I responded with an, “ouch, Mom.” It was an odd meeting, but good too.

It’s so weird to think about how my life would be different if we were still together. His greatest life achievement is winning a feature race at Columbus Motor Speedway and he works at KFC (not that there's anything wrong with KFC but he’s) without any plans for college or another job.

Today I really learned the meaning behind the country song, “Unanswered Prayers.” “As we walked away I looked at ‘my mom’ then and there I thanked the Lord for the gifts in my life….I guess the Lord knows what He’s doing after all.” Thank the Lord for Aaron, the love of my life!

Party Animal

Since we do not know when the partying Messiah will return I thought I would post my plans for feeding Him upon His return. I do this hoping others will leave comments creating a forum of sorts. I also do this with only past accounts of His partying. My request to readers, please read this post and comment with your thoughts and ideas on what Jesus would need from a party planner.

For my research, I used BibleWorks, Kohlenberger’s Concordance and Lexicon as well as the New Oxford Annotated Bible. The following does not contain Greek references as not all readers have training in biblical Greek.
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A cautious beginning, Jesus isn’t against breaking tradition. His tradition of partying is not a tradition I would expect Him to uphold. His record of overturning the expected is to be expected. See Matthew 15:1-20.

If Jesus continues with patterns found in the Gospels, we can expect a glutton and drunkard who eats with tax collectors, Pharisees and sinners. See Matthew 11:19 and Luke 7:34, 36.

Jesus will perform miracles at unexpected times and in unlikely ways. He is willing to turn water into wine for party guests who are already drunk. See John 2:1-11.

The most important consumption made by Christ was the Last Supper. This was the Passover meal and I will anticipate a traditional Passover meal as He is a Jew. In opposition to the way we Protestant Christians remember this event, I would make provisions for much to be eaten, more than a sip of wine and a pinch of bread for those present. See Mark 14, Matthew 26, Luke 22 and John 13.
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This is not a comprehensive list. Jesus often talks about eating in parables. I have focused on actual eating. In order to be ready for the coming Messiah I need your comments!

Wedding Drama

Tonight I called my dressmaker to arrange the final fitting. She informed me that this would be the last wedding dress she will make as my dress is the biggest puzzle she’s put together. During the conversation she mentioned that she’ll be at church on July 31st to hear me preach. I asked her how she found out I was preaching. Apparently, Pastor Ray was going over his schedule and mentioned my filling the pulpit. She mentioned concern about his scheduling two weddings within 24 hours of each other, one in SD and the other an hour and a half from his home in Dayton, Ohio. I explained that I called to let him know I would be married in SD and thought that he wouldn’t be able to attend as I couldn’t begin to pay travel expenses. He received approval from the council to go to SD and I the words of Penny, ”she’s one of ours, get out there!”

Mom's House

This weekend I'm tag-team babysitting for a 3 1/2 and 7 year-old. For our afternoon together we headed out to my mom's to swim, to let them play with Katelynn and to have Shannon over. Shannon and I were lying on a oversized beach towel talking about the summer. We decided that Mom's is far enough from the city to be a retreat, but close enough to get to anytime. As a babysitter it was great. The kids had another kid to play with and endless play with two pools, a two story clubhouse, a 60 foot black-top driveway for bikes and scoters and a creek. Of all the places in Ohio I think Mom's and the Bradley's place feel the safest. Not safe in a watch your back someone will rob or kill you kind of way. I'm talking about a place where I can do what I feel like, say what I want to, wear whatever and sleep when I need to and no one will think less of me or question my actions. Mom's happens to be in the country. Shannon and I often slip away to lil hidden respites on the swing in the trees, on the glider front porch or on a beach blanket in the backyard. It's there that we talk about guys, plan gatherings, make fun of celebrity hair styles and solve our world's problems. Today the problem of Ohio came up. I feel blessed to have a summer at home, and I love being at Mom's. I also miss Aaron very much. I want it all - Ohio and Aaron. Soon the two will be together for a few short weeks. Soon.

Relaxing and Writing

In 21 hours my 12 pager on the Matrix is due. However, I feel as though I need to do some preliminary writing to get ‘in the mood’. In preparation for sitting down to write, I turned on study music (Classical because I can’t find my Luciano Pavarotti CD) and lit candles. It’s amazing how these two changes in a room can change the way I think and feel. My mind is letting go of the busyness of my day and switching into academic mode. During the pre-VBS meeting today, Jeri told me that Bethel will have an awesome baptismal font. I ask if it had 8 sides and she responded, ‘why?’ I couldn’t think of why! Of the new creation of the 8th day or the 8th day for circumcision with all it’s newness. It was good to be at Bethel preparing for VBS as a teacher. It brought back memories of my last summer madness in Milwaukee – 100 people each Wednesday, new volunteers from the suburbs each week and a fieldtrips on 5 Saturdays. It’s good to teach and not direct! Well, my study food/lunch for tomorrow/whatever has just arrived – small pizza, stromboli and a sub (I had a coupon to get it all free – I love ordering piles of food!).

New Country

Below is a forward I recently received...


Dear Red States;

We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've
decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're
taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave
states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and
Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We
get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make
the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-
war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.
If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose,
and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's
caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but
we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80
percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at
state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech
industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods,
sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with
88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38 percent
of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a
whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the
death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a
theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of
you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we
lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Sincerely, Author Unknown in New California.

Two Reunions and a Shower

I’m in SD once again visiting Aaron! This time our weekend started Friday night with a joint shower for his lil sister, Amber and I. It good to be meeting his family, but it is very odd receiving generous gifts from people you’ve never met. When I say family, I’m taking grandparents and aunts/uncles, not just super extended family. After the shower, Aaron, Lori and I drove back to Sioux Falls and had a few of the cheapest beers EVER at Nutties. It was great to see Lori again and talk a lil theology over a cold one.

Saturday we were up before 10 and at the reunion by noon meeting more family! That evening we went to Sioux Falls (literally, the falls) with a few friends to watch the lighting ceremony (lasers and colored lights). We tried to go to sleep early, but ended up having an excellent discussion until 2am. By the end, we had both laughed and sobbed.

Sunday was an early morning as he gave the children’s sermon at the 8:30 and 10:00 worship services. After that, it was the final family gathering. Seeing all the aunts and uncles a few times in a row was really good. His family has been very gracious, friendly and welcoming. Following the reunion we had a 2-hour nap, went to see War of the World and talked again until late into the night.

It's Monday and reality is setting in. 25 days until the wedding, 2 problems for my online course and a 12 page paper to do.