10.24.2006
I’ll Be Home for Reformation
This weekend I was suppose to lead a Service Learning Trip to the cities. Unfortunately, not enough students signed up to make the trip economically feasible. So, that leaves me with 4 days off over Fall Break. What’s a girl to do? Call Grandma and ask if she’ll pay half on my ticket home. During my lunch hour, I bought a ticket to Ohio for this weekend for only 250! That’s an extremely cheap flight from Sioux Falls to Ohio. Homesickness cured. Not only do I get to go to Ohio for the weekend, but also it’s Reformation Sunday. What an awesome festival to go home for!
10.23.2006
Shocking Election Campaigning
On South Dakota’s November 7th ballot is a law that would ban abortion. If passed, the only exception is for the mother’s life, no exception for rape, incest, etc. It’s not surprising that Sioux Falls, the largest city in SD is going crazy with campaigning. Aaron and I frequently drive down a street where over 800 pink and blue crosses represent the children aborted in SD last year. I get the point, but tonight during a US House debate I heard the most shocking statement that made me laugh and want to scream all at the same time. The republican candidate was asked about social security. He talked about privatization then he went on to talk about how the number of workers supporting each SS recipient is not where it once was. He went on to say that the ratio would be better if the 40 million aborted fetuses weren’t aborted. Whalen claimed that social security would be better off if the 40 million fetuses were around to pay SS. So, his two solutions for solvency of SS were private accounts and banning abortion. And if I had a nickel for every time he talked about being a pro-life family values guy from SD I’d be drinking Moet & Chandon instead of blogging. There’s hope Whalen’s opponent is favored by over 30 points and Aaron just handed me a check to mail for SD Coalition for Healthy Families (aka the pro-choice patriots).
10.20.2006
Feeling Better
My most recent post ‘Homesickness’ is a very real reminder of how blogs are not helpful. Yes, when I wrote it I was extremely upset, but that only lasts for a while. After I blogged, I was able to sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Yesterday was a long day with a 6 hour drive and 6 hours of meetings, but Aaron and I stayed in last night, watched Fahrenheit 9/11 and slept for 10 hours. Today life is better, it’s Friday! This morning I realized I didn’t have any afternoon appointments so I grabbed my laptop and bible then headed for Panera. What I need to accomplish this afternoon is doable here. I had a wonderful chicken noodle soup for lunch and now I’m working out of the office working with free Wi-Fi. This morning I found out that I’ve lost 14 pounds in 7 weeks, and 100 days from today is January 29th, the day we leave for Jamaica. While I’m still missing Ohio, Sioux Falls is treating me well.
10.18.2006
Homesickness
Tonight I got an email from my cousin Raven announcing a tentative girls weekend in Ohio. It doesn’t help that I’m already a bit homesick. The email was in response to an earlier inquiry about getting together all the women of my mom’s mom’s mom (or the girls descending from my great-grandma, Mamaw). It appears that the weekend suggested is the one that marks the third anniversary of Mamaw’s death.
I remember sitting in Mamaw’s room the night she died. The women folk of the family were looking though photos and sharing stories. We decided that we needed to have a girl’s weekend. Finally, three years later one is being planned.
Problem: I’m on internship in South Dakota, and there’s no way I can get the time off.
Result: Increased homesickness.
Tomorrow Aaron and I have to travel to St. Peter, Minnesota for a meeting. We have to get up at 5:30a to get there on time. I can’t sleep. After I got Raven’s email I lost it. It’s great that the girl’s weekend is finally going to become a reality, but I can’t be there! While thinking about missing the weekend I began to think about when I’ll be in Ohio. Well, we’ll be in Ohio in December but then we’re away until May. That means 6 months without going to Ohio. I’ve done that before, but I’ve never lasted 6 months without seeing my mom and grandma. While I was in Milwaukee I was away for 6 months but Shannon, Mom, Grandma and Mel came at various times to break things up a bit. Specifically, Mom and Mel came the weekend after Easter, my first holiday away.
Now what. I know I’ll make it through, but it hurts (literally, my eyes are swollen and my head is pounding from crying so much). Somehow I’m reminded of my supervising pastor’s famous question that I’ve never had a real answer for until tonight, “do you still want to be a pastor?” For the first time I think I have an answer. If being away from my family of origin for extended periods of time is part of the package, no I don’t want to be a pastor.
I even came down hard on Aaron tonight. He was trying to make me feel better and I said, “if I lived as close as you do to your family I’d see my mom and grandma at least once a week.” Yes, families are different, but it’s hard to realize how physically close we are to his family, but we don’t see them with any greater frequency than if we lived in the cities. Right now, I’m jealous. I want to get in the car in the morning and drive until we reach Columbus. Better yet, I want a plane ticket to Ohio on February 23.
I remember sitting in Mamaw’s room the night she died. The women folk of the family were looking though photos and sharing stories. We decided that we needed to have a girl’s weekend. Finally, three years later one is being planned.
Problem: I’m on internship in South Dakota, and there’s no way I can get the time off.
Result: Increased homesickness.
Tomorrow Aaron and I have to travel to St. Peter, Minnesota for a meeting. We have to get up at 5:30a to get there on time. I can’t sleep. After I got Raven’s email I lost it. It’s great that the girl’s weekend is finally going to become a reality, but I can’t be there! While thinking about missing the weekend I began to think about when I’ll be in Ohio. Well, we’ll be in Ohio in December but then we’re away until May. That means 6 months without going to Ohio. I’ve done that before, but I’ve never lasted 6 months without seeing my mom and grandma. While I was in Milwaukee I was away for 6 months but Shannon, Mom, Grandma and Mel came at various times to break things up a bit. Specifically, Mom and Mel came the weekend after Easter, my first holiday away.
Now what. I know I’ll make it through, but it hurts (literally, my eyes are swollen and my head is pounding from crying so much). Somehow I’m reminded of my supervising pastor’s famous question that I’ve never had a real answer for until tonight, “do you still want to be a pastor?” For the first time I think I have an answer. If being away from my family of origin for extended periods of time is part of the package, no I don’t want to be a pastor.
I even came down hard on Aaron tonight. He was trying to make me feel better and I said, “if I lived as close as you do to your family I’d see my mom and grandma at least once a week.” Yes, families are different, but it’s hard to realize how physically close we are to his family, but we don’t see them with any greater frequency than if we lived in the cities. Right now, I’m jealous. I want to get in the car in the morning and drive until we reach Columbus. Better yet, I want a plane ticket to Ohio on February 23.
10.03.2006
Mass
The first Tuesday of every month is Roman Catholic Mass in the Chapel of the Reconciliation at Augie. Today is the first Tuesday.
Any Catholics out there or enlightened catholics help! Every time I go to mass I feel alienated. Words like ‘those who are worthy’ are spoken meaning ‘you, Lutheran, are NOT worthy!’ An institution is separating me from Jesus’ command - “do this in remembrance of me.” I am rejected by the words and elements that give me the benefits of Christ.
So, why did I go today? Because Mass at Augie is for Catholics and those who are ‘Catholic friendly’. I consider myself Catholic friendly, but I found out today that I need to be Catholic friendly without going to Mass.
I feel wounded, and I want to crawl under my desk and cry. The last time I was at Mass was Christmas Eve of all times. I cried through the entire Mass. Then I thought it was that I was in SD and not Ohio, but I now realize it’s also because I was rejected and not welcome at my Lord’s table. I can’t subject myself to this. I need to be writing a bible study for tonight, returning phone calls and emails, but I am rejected.
Any Catholics out there or enlightened catholics help! Every time I go to mass I feel alienated. Words like ‘those who are worthy’ are spoken meaning ‘you, Lutheran, are NOT worthy!’ An institution is separating me from Jesus’ command - “do this in remembrance of me.” I am rejected by the words and elements that give me the benefits of Christ.
So, why did I go today? Because Mass at Augie is for Catholics and those who are ‘Catholic friendly’. I consider myself Catholic friendly, but I found out today that I need to be Catholic friendly without going to Mass.
I feel wounded, and I want to crawl under my desk and cry. The last time I was at Mass was Christmas Eve of all times. I cried through the entire Mass. Then I thought it was that I was in SD and not Ohio, but I now realize it’s also because I was rejected and not welcome at my Lord’s table. I can’t subject myself to this. I need to be writing a bible study for tonight, returning phone calls and emails, but I am rejected.
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