Thoughts

According to current U.S. law, it is okay to kill criminals, unborn children, domestic animals, terrorists and enemy combatants. Euthanasia, on the other hand, is not okay. What do our laws say about the way our society regards life? How is it merciful to kill a dog that is old and suffering, while we wait for humans to die on their own? The closest we get to ‘put down’ a human is not providing ‘heroic’ life sustaining measures.

For Aaron and I, the past few days have been filled with death talk. One of the latest conversations was regarding the means of Dan’s death. For Aaron, it’s hard to loose another cousin to an ‘accident.’ How is it easier to think of a death at the hands of another human easier than an accident? Isn’t death the sadness that we feel? How does sadness differ according to the means of death? If someone killed him, we could be angry with someone instead of feeling anger without a direction. Many in this case direct anger toward God, the eternal scapegoat.

I also wonder, why is death different for an 82 year-old from a 22 year old? Both lives were of equal value. What makes us think that we should be able to live to an old age? We are born with the certainty that death will be our earthly end. I am okay with death being an earthly end. I am okay with all questions that are asked and will be asked during the grieving process. I am okay with the realization that the grieving process will continue throughout our lifetime. While grieving Dan’s death part of our grief is ultimately connected to our own death. Life as we know it is often painful, but the life we know is all that we have experienced. Thoughts of our own death scare us. What awaits us? As a sinner and a saint, I have been offered the consolation of the Gospel. In my darkest hours, it may not seem to make one bit of difference in my self-centered pain, but even in those hours God can and has broken in with the Son. In all the questions, long hours and sorrow I know that God has claimed me as His own. I know what God has promised me.