The Constantly Changing Wernicke’s

How is it that last night I was crying because my grandma has decided that at 89, she is too old to travel from Ohio to South Dakota and tonight the realities of my 13-year-old cousin’s brain tumor make me cry? As I began writing, 100 Years by 5 for Fighting came through the Media Player. Will Bryee make it to 22? What quality of life will she find after treatment? I began googling ‘pediatric brain tumor’ and found mixed results. I wanted to read that all children are cured, but this is not so. Googling something like ‘pediatric brain tumor’ makes it real. I believe for my generation when something is important you google it to get fast, possibly helpful answers. I googled her condition! Will she have her 100 years to live? I return to questions of death and suffering and God. It is easy to know ultimately what will happen to this faithful youth, but what about now? What about her earthly needs? What is prayer? If enough people say the correct prayers, will God respond in a manner of healing? What about the child in Africa dying of AIDS? Is that one forgotten if prayers are not uttered on their behalf? Tonight I had dinner with the Bradley’s and Mel was getting ready to go to a Cocaine Anonymous meeting with a parishioner from Bethel. This woman is getting ready to celebrate her first year of sobriety after 8 years of using, praise the Lord! Was it God? If it was then where is God in Bryee’s life? Is it all random? Is there a purpose to everything? Is there a purpose to anything? How is Bryee’s tumor praising God or making God known? It’s times like this when I know that God is steadfast and unchanging. Does that make this easier or harder? Right now, I can’t tell.